# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
