i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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