It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
True strength comes from lack of pants
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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