DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
