just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
