Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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