Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
