yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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