my mouth tastes like poor choices
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
