I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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