Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
