Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
