Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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