i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
