omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
