I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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