You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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