I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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