I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
