So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
