i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
