id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
