she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
