I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
