We won't sleep together?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
