fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
