The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
