I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
