you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Panties = found
Randomize
