I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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