I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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