I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
