Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
