She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
