Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
