I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I would fuck him just for his dog
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
