I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
