When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
