I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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