He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
