matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
