Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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