It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
