What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
