I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
