Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
