Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
