i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
