i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
