i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Can I color on your dick again?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
