Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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